THE ANNA WINTOUR TRACKPANTS INCIDENT


I believe in destiny. I believe in fate and now, I believe in cashmere for flying economy. This is what happened to me. I was sitting on a British Airways flight to Milan. And three rows in front of me was Anna Wintour. I was there to collect my samples for Paris Fashion Week she was there to be front row at Gucci. She was wearing a boucle couture suit and chocolate brown knee high boots and a fuck off slouchy Vuitton bag. I was wearing a black Lulu Lemon tracksuit. I am 174 cm tall so I cannot make myself shrink but at the baggage carousel where her matching baggage trundled through erect I was slumped like an awkward teenager. Imagine if I had been wearing my own shoes and a Saint Laurent jumpsuit. We would have been, like, BFF's! I could have said, "Listen ...Plum Sykes is getting a bit old, can I guest edit the spring book? And she would have been like YES and can I have your shoes in red. Anna." I am doing the perspex heel pump in red. I am holding a pair aside for you. meet me by the luggage carousel on September 23rd. I will be wearing a jumpsuit and very VERY large sunglasses. I am ready for you.